"I still have your wine glass in my pocket, is mine in your bag? Do you still get drunk with wine and bliss every full moon? I heard you moved; is your new room green, too? Are you happy without the memories and the mirrors? Are you peaceful in your new life? Do you still crawl under the blankets and read? Do you doze off with a smile on your face? Do you have a boyfriend? Does he love you; does he hold you?
I am sorry I never really held you..."
Dumbfounded she looks at his face. She knows this face. She had memorized it once upon a time, hadn't she? She knows the sea on those lips; she knows the sun in that hair. They are gone now. Without them he looks quite dull.
"Are you mad at me; can I be forgiven? I know I hurt you a lot, but I never lied about who I am. Can I sit down; can we talk? Won't you smile for me once even if it's for the last time? Do you hum your nonsongs and dance as you please? What do you write about now; do you still hide them from other eyes? Do you walk around with your camera? Do you walk around with that endless heart of yours? Do you have a lover? Does your heart hold him and protect him? Does he know?
I am sorry I never really knew you..."
The girl looks around. The girl holds her right hand with the left. The girl looks around. The sentences aimed at her bounce off her soul. The girl looks around. Does anyone else see what is happening? Is this really happening? She looks at his face. His lips move, and silly little words come out galloping. She can feel her mouth forming a joker smile. She can't take the chance. She drinks the last shot on the table. Tequila numbs her face. There she sits like a doll sans expressions. There she sits motionless, mute.
"Am I bothering you; shall I go? Won't you say anything? I deserve this silence but I want your words back. I want your laughs back. I want your eyes back. Maybe you can't love me again, but I want your mind back. I love you, I miss you; let me hold your hand. Don't walk away from me; don't you dare turn your back! So you love someone else now, is that it? Does he come running to you? I always made you wait. Is he a better friend; is he your soul mate? Do you tell him about your nightmares? Do you let him calm you down? Please, don't go; I beg of you.
I am sorry I never really heard you... "
The girl keeps walking, her lips sing along: "I am lucky I never really held you... I am lucky I never really knew you... I am lucky I never really heard you..."