Some of us men are cast adrift at birth never to land securely ashore. We might spend forever seeking feminine beauty the solace of it, to maybe glimpse it daily silently enthralled at each passing. This drifting may be our normal. It can last a lifetime. It has for me. Yes - I've had loves - was even married, fathered two sons of whom I'm proud, but have had no permanent life partner. Here I grow elderly looking beyond images of yesterday, knowing satisfaction is awareness of now, of the freshness which still appears and pondering of its symmetry. We may hold particular past epiphanies in ongoing reverential stasis due to value and timelessness or visions of wondrousness. There is justification for remembering, a worthiness of mind and existence. But it's surely not enough. I'm not alone in needing to know more. Life and the universe remain mysterious. Philosophers and physicists question reality. They even ask if free will is possible. Nearly all of us believe we have that
you know, sometimes when you try, you succeed. and all of a sudden what you doubted was possible becomes real. maybe you celebrate, maybe you get cold feet, (maybe both,) but whatever it is, allow yourself to feel. if on the first try you succeed, remember that as much as it doesn't mean you're a better human being, it also doesn't make you mean. allow yourself to feel. what you were trying for has suddenly become real.